You will always find that your emotions always get the better of you. Even after the situation concerned is over, the emotions and the whole event lingers on in your mind.
It is ok if the emotion is one of happiness, but what if it is one of agitation, anger, frustration, depression etc. That what should you do?
Let us first look at emotions, stand alone, and what they mean?
Emotions are just tools used in a conversation to express an intent, to convey a message and the seriousness of it. For example, you may be upset with the way your son or daughter, husband or wife behaved in a particular situation. While narrating your anguish, you use the emotion of anger to vent out your frustrations.
This brings forth modulation in your voice, a change in your body language and expressions on your face and eyes that communicate your message most aptly. The message goes across as ‘YOU’ intended.
As soon as this is over, after the emotion has been used, the communication is over. You have conveyed what you wanted to say. Should it all end here? Absolutely!
BUT it does not end here. The problem is “You are more bothered about how the other person reacts”. And if the reaction is unsatisfactory, you are tempted to go on till the reaction ‘anticipated by you comes forth’. And then you blame the person for over reacting.
The reason why you do this – Most emotions are because of your own feelings of inadequacies …;
EXPRESSION OF ANGER – Is because of an internal feeling of being Hurt, Hateful, Feeling frustrated and Jealous
EXPRESSION OF FEAR – Is because of an internal feeling of Being rejected, Feeling helpless and insignificant and confusion
EXPRESSION OF DEPRESSION – Is because of an internal feeling of feeling lonely and isolated, feeling inferior and stupid, and unresolved guilt that you may be carrying
EXPRESSION OF SELFISHNESS – Is because of an internal feeling of Jealousy, feeling of inadequacy because of your own poverty consciousness
If all of the above negative situations, look within yourself. Try to see what is causing the way you feel. Go to the root. When you go to the root of the feeling, you will see that there have been certain experiences in life that you are holding on to which were unresolved.
If you visit these resolved issues, and if you happen to resolve them with reason (keeping in mind that you are not in the same situation now), it is good for you. But if they remain unresolvable for a good sensible reason, just ignore it and move on.
In case you are not able to do the same yourself, a powerful exercise in Yoga and Tantra called “Antah Darsanam” that I conduct can help you in solving this problem.
Look at the positive side of your feelings now;
EXPRESSION OF PEACE – Is because of an internal feeling of Trust, feeling secure and wanted, feeling intimate and loving, and most importantly, Contentment
EXPRESSION OF CONFIDENCE – Is because of an internal feeling of being knowledgeable and aware, feeling respectful (where you give and take respect), feeling important, and feeling successful
EXPRESSION OF JOY – Feeling excited like a child, feeling energetic, feeling hopeful, being creative and, feeling sensuous and caring
CONCLUSION – It all boils down to how “you want to feel”. It is all in your hands. There is nobody else to blame except you alone.
Change the way you feel and your emotions will change. And your expressions will follow likewise.