You may find yourself most of the time in the midst of a conversation, directly or indirectly, wherein you are forced to take sides. This can happen while you are in a group, one to one, while watching TV or a live debate.
Your involvement can cause a lot of inner chatter and emotional disturbances and also a feeling of helplessness within you, if the conversation becomes nasty or overpowering. Normally, these situations are not easy to handle as you can feel forcefully committed to take sides, even helplessly though.
How then should you tackle it? How can you bring yourself to remain calm and unaffected in such situations?
Here are a few useful tips for the same;
1. THIS IS USEFUL DURING A ONE TO ONE CONVERSATION WHEREIN YOU HAVE A PARTICIPANT WHO IS UNNECESSARILY AGGRESSIVE OR IRRITATING – Consciously and willingly, discount 100% of the information you hear in your mind. This does not mean you stop hearing. Just do not indulge in getting into a discussion on the subject. This also does not mean you are ignoring the conversation. It simply implies that you give yourself the power not to internalise the conversation. By doing this, you abstain from emoting the situation. You expression is therefore neutral and your disposition is unaffected.
Let me give you an example! If someone is over powering, you lend your ear, not your
mind. The ear will hear it. Your mind will only participate when key words of wisdom,
compassion, empathy or love seem to attract it. Train your mind to listen to only those key words. Otherwise, you have not registered anything.
Now the point is, what if the other person were to ask you a question related to the conversation and you did not actively hear his/her conversation? It’s quite simple – Smile gently and ask to rephrase the question.
Your ear has heard the conversation definitely. Your mind has heard it too. Your mind here is the inner ear (it’s like the inner ear recollects sounds or music heard earlier and you hum it). The best part here is that you have not emoted anything at all. You are simply peaceful from within.
2. STAY NEUTRAL AND UNCONCERNED – This particularly refers to your involvement in a debate happening on TV or any other visual medium. By not being concerned, you refrain from participating emotionally. You only hear and observe. After the session has expired, you can still be peaceful and unaffected.
3. STOP BUILDING PERSONAL ASSOCIATIONS – This is very useful in problem solving. Do not build any personal associations within you with regard to the situation you are witnessing, and about the person who is associated with it. Do not get me wrong. If you want to sort out a situation, you look at the situation with detachment rather than linking up the situation with the person known to you. This will help you to remain unbiased.
Especially, when you own up to the problems of your near and dear ones, and when you do no find solutions that they are looking for, you are bound to get agitated. What is more, you will attach yourself to the situation and be in misery. Being detached especially helps here because you will not get attached to the problem emotionally. So problem solving becomes much easier. Tell yourself that this situation is not yours. You are just a witness without any commitment.