The “Negative Projection of You”
– When you are looking at something, anything that is good for you, anything that you feel can work for you, you feel there is a resistance from within saying “Am I worth it”?
This voice is ever so subtle, you seem to barely hear it, but the influence that it leaves on your psyche is huge. You feel that you should not take that ‘good’ decision.
Who is this enemy within you who is working against your happiness?
Its your very own guilt. And why this guilt? Years of conditioned thinking, perceiving and emoting have made you live in a world that has become absolutely mechanical, a pattern of living that has left no more enthusiasm, no more zeal and no more faith in your action. You feel your abilities have reached their peak.
And this the mind does by prompting you to action. When you say “I’m not good enough”, you sulk, become introverted, your conversation becomes subdued, your expressions are no more boisterous, and you feel weak. Your motivation levels are low and you feel you cannot contribute.
“The Positive Projection of You”
– Somewhere, again ever so subtly, another voice begins to resist this sinking feeling. And this is where you start living in a world of denial by telling yourself “I’m not like this”, “I’m good”, “I love myself”.
Something suddenly within you wants a release from your claustrophobia. And you become impulsive. You start looking around for anything you can identify with that can give you an expression of your other voice “I’m good”. You begin to indulge in shopping, in buying things you feel will make you feel good.
You suddenly become very vocal, very excited and begin to talk loudly, loud vocal expressions emerge from within you. You wear clothes that are vibrant along with other accessories that compliment this loud expression. And you begin to see that this life was missing. You are trying to take in every breathe as though this is pure oxygen you’ve been missing for a long time.
These kinds of conversations creates a conflict within you and you desperately want a release from this range of internal chatter from “I’m not good” to “I’m very good”. The mind is set in motion to experience both as both emerge as realities within you.
Your mind can play these tricks. Both these feelings of “Goodness” and “Weakness” are both emerging from within you. This confusion can go away.
Just look at both these expressions as they are. Living from within your consciousness can protect you from these mental oscillations.
A good practice of the Kriya (which was discussed in the earlier articles), “well initiated into” will be a very good solution. It will enable you transcend these false mental states, ignore these projections and emerge feeling calm, composed and vibrant in energy.
Impulse will die, making you live in the moment. Every thing you do will have a balance. A conscious action will emerge where you have perfect self control. This you can retain, sustain and enjoy.
This is living in your consciousness, This is true living…!!